


Earthlight

by Haely_Potter



Series: Bending the Universe [20]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 21:33:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1956909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haely_Potter/pseuds/Haely_Potter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor thinks about his relationship with Rose on the Moon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Earthlight

**Author's Note:**

> I used Gackt's U+K as inspiration.

Moon had always been _her_ favorite place.

He hadn't been on Moon, well, the Earth Moon anyway, since running away from Donna and her question. And now he was there again, without _her_ admiring the magic of the Moon, as _she_ called it, the Earthlight.

He couldn't help but comment on it, wondering if maybe the medical student, Martha, would get it, _Standing in the Earthlight_ , but she hadn't and he'd felt more alone than before. It wasn't her fault and he would never bring a companion to Moon again if he could help it. He'd already been to all the important events that happened on the Moon with _her_ , the TARDIS wouldn't have a reason to bring them there again, unless he wanted.

He imagined _her_ standing beside him, holding his hand, blond hair shining white in the Earthlight, _her_ smile wide and tongue touched.

He'd never see _her_ anywhere but his memories now. Well, a few photos, but _she_ had never thought much about them. Jack had taken some when they'd traveled with the flirty Captain, and Jackie had insisted on at least one very time they'd visited, but he didn't know where any of those pictures were. There had been that one street artist in early 20  th  century Paris. The elderly man had drawn them without their knowledge and had afterwards interrupted their picnic to give it to the _belle_ and her _beau_ . _She_ had framed the charcoal drawing and put it on _her_ bedroom wall.

Pity that there had never been any street artists on the Moon. _She_ would have been ecstatic.

He turned his attention back to Martha Jones when she spoke again, trying in vain to lock those memories of _her_ to the very back of his mind, knowing that they'd come crashing back as soon as he looked at the floating Earth again.

'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'

 _Just a quick hop to the Moon and back_ , he'd told Amelia with a name like a fairy tale, _to run her in_

It had been more than that. A hop to the other side of the village would have done that, but he'd wanted to greet the magic of the Moon on his own. He wanted to know if the Earthlight would still make him think of _her._

It did, and he spent a good part of an Hellesian day (forty-two Earth hours) crying his eyes out, collapsed in the TARDIS doorway as his mind flashed back to the first time he took _her_ to the Moon, when he'd been all big ears and long nose, and _she'd_ danced in the low gravity of the Moon. _She_ hadn't worn anything special, it had been the first place _she'd_ asked to visit after officially moving into the TARDIS and he'd watched from the doorway with _her_ backpack, like a great lump instead of joining _her_ like the him in-between them, the one with the great hair, would have done. He'd had the opportunity to hold _her_ close, so close, close enough to smell _her_ hair without freaking _her_ out – and he'd missed it, because that him didn't do such frivolous things as dance, until _she'd_ specifically asked. (He hadn't eaten chips either, but after _she'd_ paid for their first date, he found that he only liked the taste of three things: chips, bananas and strong tea with lemon, no milk or sugar. Well, until the very end of his life, when he'd tasted _her_ lips, but he didn't count it as he'd barely lived five minutes after that.)

Now he just sat there, legs sticking out of the TARDIS, staring at the Earth rotating 67 000 miles per hour. He'd told _her_ he could feel the planet turning beneath their feet, hurtling them across the darkness. He'd held _her_ hand for the second time then.

The Earth before him was abandoned. Roasted by the solar flares. Amy was sleeping in her newly made room. The Moon bases had been abandoned a few decades before the Earth, as the Moon didn't have the protection of an atmosphere (and they were about fifteen hundred years too early for proper terraforming technology to give the Moon an atmosphere).

For two years he'd avoided the Moon, after taking her back to Pete's world with his meta crisis. He hadn't visited. He'd avoided any moonlight strolls. In fact, he'd restricted himself to planets, asteroids and space stations. The TARDIS seemed to understand his reasons. He didn't doubt he'd soon have to go to some other moon, what with Amelia being so curious.

” _Can we go to the Moon?”_

” _Nah, why do you want to visit such a boring place for, Amelia? How about Rio instead? Lots of things to do in Rio. Or the Lost Moon of Poosh! I found it, you know.”_

Distract, distract, distract... He seemed to be that sort of a man this time around. Or perhaps it was lie, lie, lie, but that had yet to be put to test. Except when Amelia asked why her. Then he'd lied.

 _She_ kept him from lying too much. He might have omitted the truth with _her_ , but... he'd outright lied only three times, and once even admitted it without a pause.

He took a sip of his now cold tea. Tea on the Moon had been _her_ preferred day-off activity. How very British of _her_ . _She'd_ loved _her_ darjeeling. He himself had preferred plain earl grey, but the sweet darjeeling seemed to hit the spot this time around.

He wondered if he'd take on more of _her_ characteristics as time went on. _Her_ curiosity, _her_ kindness, _her_ cheerful outlook on life. Or had _she_ taken on his characteristics? _She'd_ been good at wandering off at first, but hadn't seemed awfully curious, except when asking about him. It could have been that being around him had just unleashed _her_ initate curiosity, but he liked to think he'd changed _her_ for the better, at least a little, like _she'd_ done for him _._ Not that he'd change anything about _her_ anymore.

Rose Tyler without _her_ cheekiness or love of the Moon or dark roots would be no Rose Tyler at all.

”Rose Tyler,” he said it aloud, swirling the words in his mouth, tasting them. ”Ro-ose Tyler.”

They didn't sound like they did when he'd first met _her._ They'd sounded so special back then, one of his favorite things to say beside _fantastic_ . The last him had always said _her_ name like a caress, and later like a prayer. Now... His hearts beat faster and he swallowed thickly. Now it tasted just like a name. Any ordinary name.

”Amelia Pond,” he tested it on another name. Same results. ”River Song.” No reaction.

Had he become numb? No, numb wasn't the right word, because _her_ name still stabbed him right through the hearts with longing, but... something had changed. The two before him had been... very in-touch with themselves and their feelings. The first one with little to no hair had been hurting and _she_ was the balm that soothed his soul. The second one... He'd been so... human. The most human him there had ever been. And _she_ had been the center of his universe.

Was _she_ no longer that to him?

No, couldn't be that. A Time Lord's feelings didn't change at the snap of their fingers. Even with regeneration.

So what was different? _She_ hadn't been there during his regeneration, admittedly, but _she'd_ been the last face he'd seen. Little Amelia had been the first.

Maybe he just didn't talk like it anymore? Giving special feelings to the things he said.

Once again he turned his attention to the vista before him, letting its haunting beauty remind him of better times. Of times when there would have been a pink and yellow girl sitting next to him, leaning on him, smelling of _her_ strawberry shampoo, holding his hand and lighting up his universe.

Now it was just the ghost of a memory.


End file.
